The Most Surprising Source of Dependence

Peter Moore · Tidal Church Moncton · November 6, 2022 · INdependence series

Peter Moore looks at Psalms 13 and 77, and the contrasting stories of Caleb and Uriah, to show that lament is God's gift when life doesn't go as expected. Four steps (cry, complain, ask, trust) lead us into deeper dependence on Him.

More from Peter Moore · The INdependence series

Topics: Faith, Prayer, Suffering

Transcript

[0:01] They had only been married three months, and they stood looking at each other as newlyweds do. And they gave each other a hug and a kiss and promised to see each other soon. My great uncle Norman and my great aunt Della Moore were that starstruck young couple as he left her that day to go and serve in the Second World War. I never met my Uncle Norman because he never came back.

[0:48] And I am so grateful for the sacrifice that he made for the freedoms we enjoy, as he gave his life in Italy during the Second World War for the freedoms we have to worship, the freedoms that Ellen and I have to raise a family in such an incredible country as Canada. My aunt Della never remarried, and so she never had the opportunity to raise children of her own. But she absolutely loved on every child that came into her life, especially those in her bloodline. So it was like we got an extra grandma, all kinds of presents and love and attention. She even taught me how to play Scrabble. I mean, it was amazing.

[1:38] And when I get to heaven, I am definitely going to make a beeline for my Uncle Norman to meet him for the first time and to thank him for the sacrifice that he made that we have, so rightfully honored here in this service today. We are not victims of circumstance. We are stewards of our response. Amen. And this is the great lesson that I learned from my aunt Della. So what if the story that God allows for your life is different than the story you think it should be? Now we're going to dive into Psalm 77 and Psalm 13 in a few minutes. But before we do that, I'd like to take just a couple of minutes and look at two biblical narratives of Kingdom leaders: Caleb and Uriah.

[2:39] Job 13:15 says this: "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him, but I will maintain my own ways before Him." A couple of other translations round that verse out in our understanding. Though He slay me, Job says, I will hope in Him yet. I will argue my ways to His face. God might kill me, but I have no other hope. I am going to argue my case with Him. Make no mistake, this was a huge part of the story of Job. It was Gordon Gross who said, contrary to how many people remember the Book of Job, throughout most of the book, Job articulates a strong protest to God against his undeserved suffering.

[3:40] So let's consider for a moment the stories of Caleb and Uriah, two very different biblical narratives of godly men. Now, if you were here at Moncton Wesleyan about a year ago, as I happened to be, you had the opportunity to hear the most amazing sermon on Caleb that you could possibly have heard in your life, preached right here by Pastor Bast. It was an incredible sermon, and I don't know if Pastor B is here this morning. He's probably out somewhere preaching. He's probably not even here, but Pastor B, if you're watching this, I just want to, I want to give you this word of encouragement: if you keep up that kind of preaching, there might be a future for you in ministry.

[4:32] And we just want you to know, sir, we're behind you. And we believe in you. Just keep pressing on, brother. So that's for Pastor B. Amen. Amen. Yeah, that's for you, Pastor B. I love it when the Spirit really anoints him, his jowls shake just a little bit. It's great, and he uses the word conviction. Anyway, that's a little sidebar. So, Caleb and Uriah. He preached this great sermon of Caleb, and of course, we know the story of Caleb. It's this amazing biblical story of how someone was faithful to who God called them to be and persevered through the difficult circumstances of life and believed in God and just kept pushing past the discouragements and the challenges that came, through the life of Caleb. You know, he was the only one of the twelve spies who actually stood up for how God saw the land of Canaan. Not even Joshua spoke. It was Caleb who spoke, and Moses promised him that day, you will have the land that you spied out because of your faithfulness.

[5:42] And it was another 40 years, as we know, before the children of Israel were able to cross over into the Jordan, and it took them five years to take Canaan, and then the land was divvied up. And of course, Caleb's promise was honored, and he got to add it at the age of 85. Caleb got to lead his tribe to take Mount Hebron and the surrounding hill country and this incredible victory. And I would, listen, I would have loved to have been at Caleb's funeral. I don't know if heaven is gonna have an archive of great funerals that we can watch, but Caleb's funeral is the kind of funeral that every single one of us wish that we could have.

[6:29] We lived our whole life. We pushed through some difficult things. God gave us clear promises, clear paths, and we were true to them, and then, praise God, there was victory that could be celebrated and measured by all before we died, to give glory to God. Now let's talk about Uriah. Uriah was also a man of God. In fact, he was a mighty man of God. He was one of King David's 37 Mighty Men. He was a Navy SEAL of his time. He was one of the greatest warriors in the land and had demonstrated undying loyalty to the king and to the nation of Israel.

[7:19] Many of you know Uriah's story. Sometimes it's just a footnote in the minds of some in a greater story. Imagine if you were Uriah. I want you to imagine that you are living out Uriah's life, not Caleb's life. Uriah did the right things in the right ways for the right reasons, and he was betrayed multiple times and suffered greatly for being an honorable man of God. And we know that while he was at war, King David took his wife into his bed, and she fell pregnant, and to cover it up, he called Uriah back from the front to give a report, and then give him a night at home with his wife to cover up his sin, and Uriah was such an honorable man of God that he would not enter the door of his house. He slept outside his house for all to see because he could not enjoy being with his wife when all of his men were on the front line suffering, being away from their families. And so he went back into battle, and David had to come up with another plan. And here's the thing.

[8:35] Again, imagine that you are Uriah. Your final moments in life. Your final moments are, I would project, not filled with the anguish and pain of the point of the spear or the blade of a sword of your enemies, although that is how he died. Your greatest pain in your final moments is the ultimate betrayal. When men that you have literally risked your life to save over and over again in battle hang their head in shame as you are engaging the enemy and they slide back in unison, leaving you exposed to the slaughter that will ensue. And you look at them and their faces are filled with shame and pain, and you see their betrayal, and in that moment your life is filled with anguish, and you are slaughtered mercilessly.

[9:41] Here's my question for you, Church. Which of these narratives is God's story? Caleb's or Uriah's? The answer is both. These men were both strong and courageous, fully obedient to the path that God opened up for their lives. What if the story that God has planned for your life is different than the story you think it should be? You know, life is hard for many, many reasons: unmet expectations, altered relationships, betrayal, the blurred lines of power and boundaries, having to speak truth that is rejected, leading people who either choose to or are not capable of being honest about the issues that are really fueling their bad behavior, absorbing hurts and carnality of others will take its toll upon your soul.

[10:44] What if God's story that He allows for your life is different than you think it should be? You know, one of the messy situations that many of our pastors are dealing with now are when loved ones and families that they're shepherding are choosing medical assistance and death MAID. It's such an evil plague in our times, and it's right on our doorstep. It's here. And it creates a whole spaghetti pile of questions and quandaries, and the sanctity of life that seems so clear in the protection of the unborn child becomes another battle for us to fight.

[11:34] What if the story God allows for your life is different than the story you think it should be? How can we actually experience dependence on God when things aren't working out the way we thought they should? Church, I have good news for you this morning. God has given us a plan to wash our souls: lament. It's the most surprising source of dependence as we look at this series. The spiritual discipline of lament is a discipline that I have only recently been pursuing in great focus and depth over the last couple of years.

[12:19] And because I wanted to really set the stage for the sermon, well, I decided to get a head cold this week to add to the ambiance of preaching on lament. So I apologize for this. You know, you can find a garden variety of approaches to lament from various sources. But I would like to highly recommend one approach that has been the most helpful to me in my own practice of lamenting disappointment and loss in my life and leadership. Mark Vroegop is a pastor in Indianapolis, and he wrote a book in 2019 entitled Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament. And in it, he outlines four stages of biblical lament.

[13:09] Lament enters the doorway through the complicated space of deep disappointment and lingering hurt, and lament exits by boldly reaffirming our trustworthiness of God. So let's look at these four steps of biblical lament. The first one is to cry. To cry. Lament talks to God about our pain. Now, many of us have an aversion to talking to anyone about our pain. The silence, I have to confess to you, my brothers and sisters of my church family: Silence is a mistake that I have made repeatedly over decades of my sunny-side-up approach to life.

[14:00] I'm an optimistic person at the level of my DNA. I'm a positive person. I want to encourage others. I want to believe in the best. I want to hope for the best. But I have learned over the last two years that in my life I have done that to a fault. You see, when we're silent about our pain, it can lead to denial, which leads to discouragement and eventually disillusionment, and then the poisonous mist of anger and bitterness can sweep in and take a foothold, creating a fog of unbelief or a justification of ungodly behavior.

[14:47] Hear this good news, Church: God never created us to withdraw from Him in our negative and gut-wrenching emotion. He wants us to turn to Him. He wants us to name the pain, to cry out in the specificity of our anguish. Lament talks to God, especially when life is its messiest. And this requires faith. Silence is easier and may even on the surface feel like a greater expression of godly character, to quietly endure with a smile on our face. But denial of our pain is unhealthy, and God knows it.

[15:36] Lament allows us to keep praying through hardship, and the most effective laments leave it all on the field. In our hearts, cry to God. Consider the gunfighter honesty of Psalm 77: verses 1 through 3. I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and He will hear me in the day of my trouble. I seek the Lord in the night. My hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints. Cry aloud to God.

[16:22] Think about the first few minutes of your life. You remember it? Well, don't you? When you popped out of your mama all those years ago, you discovered that you are in a strange, new world that did not have the warmth, and the predictability and the illusion of control that you had enjoyed for the first nine months of your life. And you felt extremely vulnerable and unsafe and deeply uncomfortable, and then you did something totally embarrassing. You bunch of cry babies. You all went. You see, The final thank you. Thank you so much. It's wonderful.

[17:11] That was the best "Amen" I've ever had when I've been preaching. The first step of lament, I would suggest to you, my friends, is the most common of all human experience. It unites us all. I cry aloud, even though hope feels like a distant memory. Lamenters reach out to God. And as I work with pastors, with Kingdom leaders, I am increasingly convinced that the reason so many in Kingdom leadership have trouble slowing down for authentic community with God is that they know they will have to embrace the unpleasantness of lament.

[17:56] Now hear this: the promise of lament is not to fully alleviate the pain or immediately fix the problem. The promise of lament is to be in His presence, to be heard by Him, to have an audience with the King of Kings. So let's look at the second step of lament. First we cry, second, we complain. Oh, isn't it good to come to church today? The preacher said I can complain. Amen. Lament argues with God about what is wrong. No, wait a minute. Didn't the Apostle Paul say something once about doing everything without arguing or complaining?

[18:47] I mean, doesn't this speak directly against that? I mean, the Bible can't contradict itself, right? Five good news for you. Doing everything without arguing and complaining has nothing to do with God. It has everything to do about each other and how we engage with each other. Lament is about an authentic conversation with God. Biblical complaint vocalizes circumstances that just don't seem to fit with God's character or His purposes. And while the psalmist knows that God is in control, there are times when King David feels like he's not, when it seems like injustice rules the day, the lament invites us to talk to God about it, to complain. Instead of stuffing our struggles, lament gives us permission to verbalize those inner tensions.

[19:46] Andy Stanley said it so wonderfully: wisdom is found in knowing the difference between something that is a problem to solve and a tension to manage. Lament is the answer to those tensions. Listen to Psalm 13, in the first two verses, as David wrestles with why God isn't doing more. How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? What's wrong with You, God?

[20:32] Get with the program. This isn't right. Biblical complaining is not venting sinful anger. It's merely telling God about why your struggles don't make sense, if He is who He claims to be. And the more honest we can be, the sooner we'll be ready to move on to the next element, the third step. First we cry, then we complain, and then we ask. Lament boldly seeks deliverance in keeping with God's character. Lament seeks more than relief. It yearns for deliverance that reveals God's character for His glory. Godly lamenters keep asking because they believe in who God is. They keep asking even when the answer is delayed.

[21:28] Lament is actually proof that we still believe in the sovereignty of God. We're crying out, and we're requesting and pleading that He act in accordance with His will as the all-powerful, all- good, all-loving God that we know that He is. And so Psalm 13:3-4 asks boldly: Consider and answer me, O my Lord God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemies say, "I have prevailed over him," lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. Lament affirms not only that God's promises are true, but by asking again and again for divine help, we are submitting to His sovereignty.

[22:20] Repeated requests become increasingly hopeful reminders of what God can do, and asking boldly serves to strengthen our resolve to not give up. But it also encourages us to embrace the destination of all biblical lament: the final step, declaring the renewal of trust by faith. Four steps: cry, complain, ask, and then finally, trust. Lament chooses to believe in God's purposes behind the pain. You see, church, at our very core, as disciples of Christ, we are people who walk by faith and not by sight.

[23:09] Lament chooses to believe that God is in control, that He has a plan, and that we can trust Him. Sound familiar? Thank you, Kevin. Kevin Campbell, wherever you are, for giving us that word of faith for this season. God is in control. He has a plan, and we can trust Him. That is the final step of trust. Confidence in God's trustworthiness is the destination of all lament. The crying, complaining, and asking, they all lead here. And while lament begins with tears, it ends with trust. Lament helps us through suffering by directing our hearts to make the choice, often daily, to trust in God's purposes hidden behind the pain.

[24:04] It is the heart of Uriah's faithfulness to accept the pain when it remains unchanged, as something that will become part of His greater story for His glory. And in this way, church, lament is one of the most theologically informed practices of the Christian life. It is perhaps the greatest act of worship for the mature follower of Jesus. Lament leads us through our sorrows so that we can trust God and praise Him even when circumstances remain unchanged. This is how Psalm 13 concludes.

[24:51] Ask, complain, cry, all of these steps lead to "But I have trusted in Your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord because He has dealt bountifully with me." It's a powerful ending to a blunt and honest song. Every lament is designed to become this kind of pathway towards hopeful godliness. Confidence in God's trustworthiness is the destination of all laments.

[25:36] And what I've learned, and what I'm continuing to learn, is that more times than I could have predicted, or certainly hoped, would be the case. My life story often feels more like Uriah's than Caleb's. My friend Ray was one of the key influencers in my life who challenged my sunny-side-up personality. And he called me a little less than two years ago. He called me to lament. I didn't like it, and I didn't listen to him the first time, but he kept at me and threw a number of other influences in my life. The message finally got through, and I began to practice that. My friend Ray spent more than a decade of his life as an army padre.

[26:28] And it broke him. He's given me his permission to share this story. But he says I would do it all over again because of the men and women that I love and their families and the opportunity that I had to serve them. Ray has it so well. If we're always just celebrating, we're sending the message that lament is not appropriate. Both forms of worship are necessary to keep us in balance. You know, do you find yourself wanting or enjoying to do for God, but if you're honest, you don't really want to be with Him? I love how Pastor Sharon Guptill said it one day: we are so willing to run, but not to sit.

[27:16] Serving runs, lament sits. What if the story God allows for your life is different than the story you think it should be? That was the question you first heard this morning. But I would suggest a slightly different question for us as we ponder the contrasting narratives of Caleb and Uriah, because, frankly, asking "what if" is often a waste of time. As one pastor said a number of years ago, if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas. What if? The story God has planned for your life will be different, many days, than the story you think it should be. So here's a better question: What is God's gift for you when, not if, the story He allows for your life is different than the story you think it should be?

[28:20] His gift: the spiritual discipline of lament. It's the most surprising source of dependence. His gift is the sacrifice of praise. His gift is the invitation to lament. "Blessed are those who mourn," Jesus promised, "for they shall be comforted." Four steps of biblical lament: cry, complain, ask, and trust. Lament begins with tears, and it ends with trust, so that we can still enjoy His presence and be used to make a difference regardless of how much He allows us to see His story through our lives this side of heaven.

[29:15] You see, that's the primary difference between the narrative of Caleb and the narrative of Uriah. Caleb had the luxury of seeing the impact of God clearly spelled out through his entire life story, but Uriah did not. But without the incredible godly man that Uriah proved to be, church, we would not have Psalm 51, where literally billions of people over the millennia have heard the story of King David's repentance and seeing what the power of forgiveness and restoration can look like through the power of the Spirit.

[30:03] So here's my challenge to you this morning, as Pastor B would say on occasion: how do you like me now? Here's my challenge. Pick one tension in your life that does not, to you, in this moment seem to be a problem that can be solved, but is, in fact, an unresolved tension to manage. Just do that right now. One. And here's your second challenge: Pick one hour this week, one hour.

[30:51] I want you to think of a day of the week. I want you to think of a time of the day when you will go to God with these four steps and you will lament that tension in your life. Lament: we cry, we complain, we ask, and we trust. Trent Shelton said it so profoundly: we are all a little broken. The last time I checked, broken crayons still color the same. And then I remember my Aunt Della.

[31:37] It was just under 20 years ago that she was finally reunited with my Uncle Norman as she crossed over into her eternal reward. You know, my friends, the beautiful truth about God's story through us is that one day it will make perfect sense when we stand in His presence for eternity. It actually doesn't have to make sense here because it's not about us. Lament powerfully reminds you that God loves you, but this life is not about you or your story.

[32:27] It's about His story and His glory through you. Please stand. Father, I thank You for my brothers and sisters, as we continue in what You're, what Your Spirit has directed, Pastor Nathan, and in shaping this series on depending on You. I not only lift them up to You, I lift myself up to You. And I thank You, Lord, for the incredible experiences of communion that I have had with You in these last couple of years, because of the gift of lament that You have given to us.

[33:15] And I pray, Lord, that as ones who seek to grow in You and to be mature in You and not to need milk but to be able to eat the meat of Your Word and the deeper truths of walking with You, I pray, Lord, that as You prompted hearts all across the Celebration Centre, as You prompted hearts all across the living rooms and other places where people are watching this online, Lord, that You would help us to take these four steps and to commit to that hour that we said we might do this week. Lord, let us find and experience You in a deep way in this most surprising source of dependence.

[34:04] We love You, and we thank You for this gift. In Jesus' name, amen.