God, Help Me Love These Crazy People!
Pat Steeves · Tidal Church Moncton · December 18, 2022 · New Traditions series
Pat Steeves teaches from Romans 12:14-18, showing how God's mercy helps us bless and forgive people who are hard to love. Being offended is unavoidable, but living offended is a choice, so we overlook offenses and live at peace with everyone.
More from Pat Steeves · The New Traditions series
Topics: Love, Forgiveness, Relationships
Transcript
[0:00] Well, good morning. I don't know. I don't know about you, but has anyone else noticed that over the last couple of years people just seem to be just a little bit more mean and miserable? Has anybody noticed that? I don't know if it's, you know, two years of, in a pandemic, if it's the rising gas prices, Elon Musk messing around with Twitter. I don't know what's going on, but it just seems to me like people are on edge. Does anyone relate at all? You know, what? Here's what I've come to know, is that if you are on a continual search to be offended, you will find what you're looking for.
[0:54] Right? And so we got, we got a clap there. But here's what I've got, a couple just helpful suggestions for you. You see, for the longest time there was always two topics around Christmas dinner table, meeting with friends. There was two topics that we should never discuss, and that was politics. Right? And religion. Always those two always go in together. But now there is a third topic that I just want to share with you, just to give you a heads up not to bring up at Christmas, and that is the topic of science. You see, two years ago I didn't know anyone that was an expert in science. And now it seems like everyone is. Right?
[1:42] Does anyone notice that? Because they've listened to three podcasts, very biased podcasts on a certain topic, or watched four YouTube videos, they consider themselves an expert on the topic of science. Right? But truthfully, truthfully, is I've noticed that again people are just a little bit on edge now. Question for you: How many of you have someone in your life right now that is kind of hard to love? Right, don't point at them. All right, don't point at them. But the truth is, we have some people that are difficult to love, and I want to drive home this point today, that being offended is inevitable, but living offended is a choice.
[2:36] Okay, being offended, you're going to be offended. I've never heard of anyone who has said, "My life is so much more productive because I'm angry all the time." Right? I've never heard anyone say, "The quality of my relationships and the people around me is so much better because I am ticked off wherever I go." Right? No one has said that. And so today I want us to look at Scripture, and I believe that we can find some answers, and the Apostle Paul specifically in Romans. We're gonna look at this. He talks to us on how to love people who are hard to love. And so I've entitled this topic, God, Help Me Love These Crazy People.
[3:32] Are you guys ready? In the chat right now, if you're ready, type in "I'm ready," and we're going to jump right into it. But I got to give you a warning. Okay, we're gonna read some Scripture that is extremely easy to read, but it's difficult to live out. It's really, really tough. It's kind of like that dieting book or that new diet app that you're going to get in a couple of weeks. It's super exciting. It's easy to read, but it's incredibly, all seriousness, right? It's incredibly hard to live out, but it's so important that we as Christians figure this out. So let's go right now to Romans 12.
[4:17] And I want us to, I'll read this, you guys can read with me, but we're gonna go to verses 14 to 18. And so you can follow along. It says, "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Is there any Toronto Maple Leafs fans here? We know what it's like to mourn together, don't we? "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited." And it goes on to say, "Do not repay evil for evil, but be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone." This is going to be the verse that we land on at the end of the message, which is really key here, but it says, "If it is at all possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." So let's just jump right back up to the very first of this verse, where it talks about blessing. Bless those who persecute you.
[5:30] Remember how I said this is really easy to read, we've heard this, but extremely hard to live out. You see, persecute could be, you know, people who have done you wrong, people who have betrayed you. Paul is saying that we need to bless them. All right, so I thought it would be fun to have a look and see what does the word bless actually even mean. All right, it's not a typical word we say a lot in today's culture, but it literally means to speak well of or to wish the best for someone. Right, like, we can kind of do that to people that we like. Right, like next to my wife, who we've been married for 19 years, she's put up with me, but next there, my assistant Bonnie.
[6:23] Right? She is absolutely incredible. It's kind of easy to love her because she just is so helpful. She is a joy to be around all the time. Oh yeah. I love that. But he is talking about people who are hard to love. This is what we're looking at, and you might be like, "Why would I even want someone who is difficult to love?" Right? Fair question. Even if I could, why would I want to use that energy to love somebody who is difficult to love? I got to be really honest and tell you this. There's kind of this dark side of me that when it comes to someone that I don't like or I don't respect, when something bad happens to them, kind of like it.
[7:25] Now, I know none of you know what it feels like to get that way, but isn't that the truth? Right, like, I was kind of thinking of this, and back before I was married, I had a girlfriend, and we broke up. And you know, it was devastating, all the stuff, right? You've all been there, many of you. And I can remember a few weeks later, I was driving in a snowstorm, much like the one that we just had on Thursday, and you know, it was kind of blizzard conditions that I can remember it was dark, and I remember driving down the road and I seen a vehicle off to the side in the ditch, quite a deep ditch actually, and those of you who know me know that, and this is an opportunity for me to, like, meet somebody new, right? Like, help somebody out. This is gonna be great. And so I pull over and so it's dark and I holler.
[8:21] I was like, "Is anybody there?" And I could see the car door, he tries to push it open, right? And so he sticks his head out and I'm looking and through all the snow, I realized that this is my girlfriend's new boyfriend. And I'm like, "Hope you have a good night." You know what? It's difficult to love those in our life that are hard to love, but the Scripture is talking about blessing, is to be a continual blessing to those who are hard. Now, I want to just kind of stop here because some of you again are just saying, like, why would I even want to do this? Why does this even matter?
[9:10] And this is a great question to ask, and Jesus actually asked this question to His disciples. I don't know if you've read this or not, but Jesus asked His disciples, how will people know that you are My disciple? Does anybody know how they answered that question, or how Jesus answered the question? You will know them how? By our love. This is why this is so important. When we love the people in our life that are difficult to love, people will recognize that. People aren't going to recognize the guy that gets up and speaks a message or sings a song or attends church. They're going to recognize you by how you love people.
[10:10] And I think that we all agreed that there's a lot of people around us that are very difficult to love. And so that's why it's important that we begin to understand the power in being able to bless those who do us wrong, because the people around us, they're not going to come to church next week. But guess what? You're going to be right there where they're at. And you are going to be an example of the love of God, and they're going to be like, "How did you just do that?" Is anyone tracking with me this morning? This is so important that as a church we understand how to love people that are difficult to love. And Paul, just to shape a little bit of the context here, I don't know if this is good news or bad news, but he shares with us that we can't actually do this in our own strength.
[11:08] Okay, we can't try harder enough to love people. It's absolutely impossible. And so he sets the context, and we're gonna go just back a few verses into Romans 12:1, and he shares with us kind of a little kind of tip or secret in how we can love people that are difficult to love. All right. And so it says this here in Romans 12:1, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of the mercies, in view of God's mercy, in view of God's mercy." This is really key here: "to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. This is your true and proper worship." Therefore, I urge you, in view of God's mercy. I got a question for you.
[12:06] How has God been merciful to you? Man. How has God been merciful to you? This is a great question that we need to ponder and recognize and think on, that God has been so merciful to us, hasn't He, church? Like, man, we are so blessed. God has forgiven us. His compassion for us. He loves us so much in view of the mercies of God, in view of how good, how many second and third and fourth and fifth chances He has given us. He has continued to love us over and over and over, in view of the mercy of God.
[12:58] He says to present ourselves as a living sacrifice. What does that mean? We're all here living, right? There's no one fallen asleep yet. So we're living, and he says we need to offer ourselves as a living sacrifice. What does that mean? Sacrificing my hurt feelings, sacrificing maybe even my point of view and how I think things should happen, sacrificing the way someone treats me. To become a living sacrifice. Why?
[13:43] Remember, because we want to be able to live out this love. This is what I get excited about if we just go back to this verse. Out of living sacrifice, but here's what it is: holy and pleasing. This is your true and proper worship. Do you know that worship is not the songs that we sing, but it is the life that we live? Are you guys with me this morning? We think that worship is a song that we sing or a message that we preach, but truly worship happens not so much in here all the time, but out there. It is the life that we live, man. This is like, got me excited this week, to take the focus off of me, and when we can focus on the mercies of God and how good He has been, then guess what? I can hopefully give somebody a second chance or a third chance, and hopefully, you know, what I will begin to be, that living sacrifice, holy and acceptable, that worship unto to God.
[14:54] This is so good. This is so good. So this is why it matters, being a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable. I want us to continue on in this verse of Scripture. We're going to go back to Romans 12, and I just want to hit a few more things in this verse where he talks about living in harmony. If we go back to Romans 12:14 18. Next verse there, we go. "Live in harmony with one another." It's not a good reminder when we're at Costco today. Right? Just be nice, just be kind, you, right? "Live in harmony with one another.
[15:39] Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people in low position. Do not be conceited." Do not be proud and do not be conceited. Is it just me or does it seem like so many people just seem to think they know it all? They're like, "I'm right." And they, you know, you go on the internet and all I hear is them telling me that I'm right. You don't know what you're talking about. I am right. Even Christians, in the name of Christianity. Can I even go there? We tend to think that we are right, and the Bible says that people don't really care if you're right. They care if you are loving.
[16:34] Okay, and we've never had so many proud and conceited people. I look this up in the Greek to fully understand what this means, and I checked it out in the Greek, and in the Greek it says, "Do not be proud and do not be conceited." It's the same thing. And you think that I am just talking to the person beside you, but I think that we all need to realize that over the course of months or years we tend to get this idea that I am right. God didn't call us to be right. He called us to be loving. He called us to be loving. It's so important that we get this right, not just for us but for those around us. I recently read that our brains are wired in such a way that our first response when someone does us wrong or doesn't agree with us, or when there's a situation that comes up that we don't fully understand, that our brains are wired to first, initially, be defensive, to protect ourselves.
[17:55] Okay, and it's fascinating when I was reading this, that I began to understand that we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their actions. Here's what's interesting, and I've caught myself doing this. Sometimes I'll be kind of short with somebody or rude, and then I'll follow it up and I'll say something like, "I'm, you know, what, I've just got a lot going on. I've just been busy. I shouldn't have said that," and I tend to justify myself by my intentions.
[18:41] You guys with me? But the thing is, when it's reversed and somebody is short with me, okay, I tend to judge them by their actions. And it's interesting, the Bible talks about how the devil is the great accuser. And in our head we will begin making up accusations about an individual. And so remember, we judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their actions. And so we begin to make accusations about somebody, where we begin to think, "You know what this person is? Man, they have just lost their cool. Like, they're out of control. Did you see the way that they spoke to me?"
[19:36] Accusation, right? "Did you see? I don't think I can trust this person. Like, I can't, I shouldn't be treated like that." Accusations. Accusations are from the enemy, and they bring us down to the bottom, where we begin to think the worst of people. Have you ever got caught in those conversations where we just begin accusations, that we blow something up so big about someone? You know what, that is where the enemy works best in lives. And accusations, they erode marriages. They split friendships, and they divide churches, and that's where the enemy wants us to be, is living in accusations and living in lies.
[20:31] The devil wants our stories to be rooted in accusation, but God wants our stories to be rooted in love. You see, this is so important, that as believers, that we understand the reality that we need to get to a higher place. You know what, because here's the deal, life is too short, and the calling on your life is too great for us to be continually living in offense and living in accusations. It really is. And the Apostle Paul wants to help us here to understand how we can kind of get over that. And in Ephesians 4:2, he encourages us.
[21:25] He says to be patient with one another, making allowances for each other because of your love. Making allowance, it doesn't mean that we just pretend that things didn't happen or that somebody treated us poorly, but it says that we begin to just make allowances for people's faults because of our love for them. What they did was still wrong, but God is calling us to go beyond the offense and to choose to love. So hard to do. And as I begin to conclude here, I want to just share this one scripture that I think is so helpful, and it's found in Proverbs.
[22:20] It's found in Proverbs 19. It's so good. It says, "A person's wisdom yields patience." A person's wisdom yields patience. Do you know what wisdom is? And I say this to my kids all the time, wisdom is this: it's knowing the difference between right and wrong and choosing to do what's right. That's what wisdom is. It's when I look at this scripture, it says a person's wisdom yields patience. As Christians, I believe that we need to choose wisely when it comes to loving people, and we can choose to have patience. That's what wisdom is. You see, foolish people, they respond, right?
[23:14] They kind of fly off the handle, but a wise person chooses patience. But this is what I really enjoy about this. It says, "It is to one's glory to overlook an offense." You see, to overlook an offense, here's what it means. It means to get up over top of it. The enemy wants us to stay down on the bottom and live in accusation. God wants us to get up over an offense. Somebody, look at the person beside you and just say, "I'm over it." Look at the person on the other side and say, "I'm over it. I'm over it." You see, in the chat right now, say, "I'm over it."
[24:04] See, what happens is somebody will be rude to you, and you just need to be able to say, "I'm over it." Here's a really hard one. Okay, over the Christmas holidays, your mother-in-law might correct your kids. Do you know what you need to say? I'm over it. Somebody might just drop a private message and just criticize you on social media, and you need to say, I'm over it. And when we can get to the place where we can get up over these offenses and these accusations, guess what? We are able to operate in a love of God that is so powerful that the world will recognize the people in your community, your neighborhood, your workplace.
[24:51] They'll be like, "What is up with you?" And you can just say, "You know what? I'm over it." I'm over it because why? Because life is too short and the calling on your life is too great to live in offense. You see, living in offense, having an offense is inevitable. But living free of it is a choice today. And so as we begin to conclude, I want us to go right back to where we started in Romans 12:18. I told you guys today that this is easy to read, it's easy to maybe even hear, but it's incredibly hard to live out. It really is.
[25:50] And the first thing that we want to do is get defensive and respond, and I pray that this message gets deep within us as Christians and as followers of Jesus, because man, it doesn't take a whole lot now for people to recognize there's something different about you. There's something that separates you from the rest. Everyone might be talking about somebody, you know, high schoolers, university students getting caught up in some online debate or and you just respond with something else and choose to bless instead of curse, and people are like, "Man, that is so good." But here's where we're going to land: if at all possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
[26:44] As far as it depends on you. Here's what I like about this. As far as it depends on you, we can't control the other person, right? But as far as it depends on me and as far as it depends on you, we have a choice to live at peace with everyone today. This could be the person that you're not talking to right now. You're making a choice to say, "You know what?
[27:29] God, I need some wisdom, because I want to live at peace with that person." Could be that family member or friend in your life that you need to forgive. Maybe you didn't even do anything wrong. Maybe you're right in the situation. But remember, God didn't call us to be right. He called us to be loving. And so maybe to live at peace is you just say, "You know what? I'm gonna forgive that person. I'm gonna get over it." So hard to do. The good news is, we still have a chance if you're able to hear this message and listen to me.
[28:20] The good news is, you still have a chance to repair that fractured marriage, that broken relationship with a son or daughter that maybe you haven't spoken to in a long time. You have a chance today. That is such good news. If we can choose to operate and say, "You know what? I'm gonna let love live in my life today." It says it takes two to reconcile, but it takes one to forgive. And I hope that that's who we are as a church today, a people that are ready to forgive.
[29:06] Being offended is inevitable, but living offended is a choice today. And so I want us to just close. I want to pray with you, but I want to ask you this question for everyone here today. How many of you would raise your hand and say, "You know what? I want to choose today to live at peace with those around me." Like, this is a message. This is something that we all need. I want to make a conscious choice, God. I want Your wisdom, God. I need Your wisdom in how to live at peace with some of those people that are really hard to love, that I'm gonna be with over the next couple of weeks.
[29:52] Could I just pray with all of us right now? If you would just bow your head and close your eyes, let me just pray for us this morning. Heavenly Father, we thank You for Your love and Your mercy on our life. And it's my prayer that some of the words today, that they may mean something different to each one of us. But I believe that Your Holy Spirit would recall relationships that need mending. God, I pray that this idea of living at peace with everyone, that Your Holy Spirit would begin giving us direction on what that would look like.
[30:41] Because the reality is, God, we have people around us that need to experience Your love. God, they're searching and they're looking for something that's real, and I pray that we would not underestimate, God, that we have the power, God, to be different and to love those around us. God, I pray for restoration and healing to take place in marriages and friendships. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Amen. I want to ask this one question. For some of you here right now, the most important relationship that we could ever have is a relationship with Jesus.
[31:31] If you're here today and you're saying, "You know, I'm not at peace with God today," if you and I were just to sit down and have a conversation and I was to ask you the question, "Where are you at with God?" Maybe your response would be, "Well, I attend church a few times a year and really a pretty good person. I try pretty hard and I love, you know, I give people second chances." But you're not at peace with God. And you would like to make sure that you are today. Here's what I would like to invite you. I would invite you to, I would love to have that conversation with you. And so I'm going to invite you, just text the number up on the screen and just text the word "Peace."
[32:21] All right, and I would love to follow up with you this week and have that conversation. Perhaps maybe you don't have a phone that you could text. I'm gonna be here after the service and I would love to have that conversation with you. But I want you to know today whether you're watching online or you're here in the room. God wants to be at peace with you. Not just you with Him. Because He loves you. He's got a plan for your life. There is a calling on your life, and it's so great. It's the best life you could ever live. It's the best relationship you could ever have. And so I would love to just pray for you. Right now, and I'm just gonna ask everyone to bow their heads. But again, if you want to find peace with God, I would encourage you to text this number.
[33:14] I would love to have that conversation with you, or I'll be here after. So, everyone, just bow their head and close your eyes. Heavenly Father, God, You are our true peace. God, in You there is no fear. God, but You truly love us. God, Your love is almost unfathomable. We can't comprehend it, God. But I pray, if there's someone here that is not right with You, give them the courage to just step out. Let us know, because we would love nothing more than this Christmas season to begin a new tradition, God, of them being in relationship with You.
[34:01] And we pray this in the incredible name of Jesus. Everybody said amen. Amen.