Abnormal

Jim Clements · Tidal Church Moncton · June 4, 2023 · Spirit series

Jim Clements teaches from 1 Peter 4:1-10 and Matthew 22:34-40, showing that Jesus loves strong, and so can we. Loving others the way He does is sacrifice, takes action, and sets us apart from the world, and it can renew strained relationships.

More from Jim Clements · The Spirit series

Topics: Love, Relationships, Discipleship

Transcript

[0:00] Well, good morning. I just gotta own something up front. There is, we are experiencing technical difficulties if you have not, noticed when the sound drops out. And so that may happen on occasion, but I want to tell you too, we have the best behind the scenes team who every week, weekend, week out bring it for you soon. They're working hard to make sure it doesn't continue to happen, and sometimes you don't even know why it's happening, right? So that's just one of the things. So I wanna own that up front. Have you ever been in a situation where people have looked at you because of something you did or said and just went, "You're not normal"?

[0:46] Right? In the circles I run in, ministry circles, they'll look at me and they go, "You're just a different bear." And I'm not quite sure why they use the word bear, but that's what they use. And I've actually been called abnormal at times, and I've kind of begun to embrace that, because that's what I believe, is that we have to be abnormal. And one of the situations that happened, in case you didn't know, and I can't speak to Canada 'cause I don't know for sure, but in the United States, the worst time that someone in the food service industry wants to work in the restaurant they work for is Sunday afternoon, like lunchtime to supper time. And the reason that is, is because of church people, because they tend to tip really bad and expect a lot. So, and so we were in after church one time, Gisèle and I, into Ruby Tuesdays, and have you ever been to Ruby Tuesdays?

[1:45] It's like a salad bar kind of thing. She tries to make sure I eat pretty well, and healthy wise I eat pretty well, as you can tell anyway, but healthy wise, and so we're sitting there and our waitress comes over, and you can immediately tell that she's off. There's something wrong. And we're always, the first question we ask any person that's serving us is, "Hey, what's your name?" And they tell us their name, and we address them by their name the entire time, and we can tell, as if time's going by, today is not a good day for her. And so we did something we've only ever done once, and this only one time, we felt the Spirit just tell us, "You need to minister to her." I'm like, "You're sitting in Ruby Tuesdays, I'm about to get a salad up at the salad bar to see how much I can fit on a plate without falling off," right?

[2:43] And we looked at her and we said, "Hey, why don't you sit down with us?" And she was like, "What?" I said, "Just have a seat." And she goes, "I'll get in trouble." And I'm like, "We'll talk to the manager. We'll tell him that we told you to sit." And so, and she sat down, and for the next 15 minutes we spoke with her to find out what was going on in her life. And she gave us the opportunity to pray with her. And you know that in that whole time that she was sitting there sharing what was going on in her life and we were praying with her, nobody else came looking for her, manager, no other staff, no other customers came in. It was just us in that section of the restaurant doing ministry, being abnormal. That's what she got up. She got up and she said, "You're not like normal." And I'm like, "No, we're not like normal at all."

[3:36] And, but I love when God creates those opportunities for us to be abnormal. See, Jesus lived an abnormal life. Jesus was sent to be set apart, not just so He didn't look like the world, but He was set apart from it completely. We want to be a reflection of Jesus in and through our lives. Today we're going to look at the thing that I think holds our lives together and helps create that reflection of Jesus. And that is the love strong, the love strong in every aspect we have today. Also, we're gonna look at an interesting piece of the puzzle that keeps us from accomplishing that. And usually what keeps us from accomplishing that is our own sin or pursuit of selfish desires that we have.

[4:27] And that can be remedied also, how, by doing God's will and loving strong. This message today has the potential to change relationships that you have in your life that maybe have had some setbacks. And even while I'm speaking right now, I want you to think of some of those relationships, and if it's a number of them, I want you to think of one, and just think of one relationship that you've had a setback in, that you've struggled in, and maybe it's something you've done, maybe it's something they've done, who knows what it is. Maybe it's something you think each other done, all that kind of stuff, how it goes. And I want you to think of that. It could be a spouse, it could be your parent, it could be a sibling, it could be a friend, it could be a friend of mine, it could be anybody.

[5:13] But I want you to think about that right now. And I know at the same time you're probably thinking, what's loving people have to do with what I do with my life? How I live my life is my choice. It's none of what anybody else's business how I live my life. And I don't think that the way I live affects how I can love other people, and I'm here to tell great confidence that I think it does affect other people. And you are absolutely wrong in thinking that it doesn't, that it's not, because of what I just said is because of 1 Peter 4, verses 1 through 10. And we're gonna study these verses today and look at what points will emerge for you so that you can love strong.

[5:58] And I want you to figure out which one will be the one that transformed the relationship that you're thinking of this morning. So 1 Peter 4, 1-10. So then, since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude He had and be ready to suffer too. For if you've suffered physically for Christ, you've finished with sin. You won't spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you'll be anxious to do the will of God. You have had enough in the past of evil, things that godless people enjoy, their immorality of lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties and their terrible worship of idols. Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge into the flood of wild and destructive things that they do, so they slander you.

[6:49] But remember that they will have to face God, who stands ready to judge everyone, both living and dead. That is why the good news was preached to those who are now dead. So although they were destined to die, like all people, they now live forever with God in the Spirit. The end of the world is coming soon. Therefore be earnest and disciplined in your prayers. Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other. For love covers a multitude of sins. Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay. God has given each of you a gift from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well and serve one another.

[7:37] Let me just give you some recap from that scripture. The passage talks about wild living, talks about drunkenness, talks about sex, talks about idolatry. However, it starts out with Christ's suffering and how we should love other people without us looking into the layers of it. It may seem odd in the beginning as the scripture and passages wander all over the place, but let's look at it piece by piece, starting with 1 Peter 4, 1. So then, since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude He had and be ready to suffer too. For if you've suffered physically for Christ, you are finished with sin.

[8:23] The reason Jesus died on the cross for you, the reason that He died on the cross for anyone who chooses to follow Him and is teaching is a BLUF moment. And the BLUF moment for me means bottom line up front. It's because He loves us, because He loves strong. Jesus showed that the example love that He has shown in His life for us comes with sacrifice, and sometimes sacrifice comes with suffering. See, love, sacrifice and suffering comes as one package. There's no way around it if you want to do so and you're choosing to do so. If you choose to live love strong, then you do it by following the example that Jesus gave us.

[9:18] See, too often we think about love as as it being weak or convenient or it's conditional and it doesn't come with much sacrifice. You're suffering. That's the world would want us to know. It's easy. Love doesn't require hardly anything. It can even be pre-packaged. It just looks nice, but there's no preparation. You just, it's there. You open it just like something is pre-packaged or it's microwavable love, which means it's quick and easy and it gets cold in a hurry and hardly stays warm long enough to enjoy it or you can love strong. Whereas the whole meal deal made from scratch, it's a sacrifice of imagery, energy, energy to bring life in the love.

[10:07] It's a sacrifice of time that brings value into love. It is all in the preparation to bring fullness into love. There's a cost, and there's usually a significant cost, but in the end it's an incredible experience for you to have when you love strong. Love and strong comes with some sacrifices and suffering right from the beginning. Scripture tells us that love is hard work. The world tells us it should be easy; if it's not, move on. The world wants us to think that love and loving for each other is disposable. I know much of you know this, but let's take a minute to really think about this statement and the truth that is in it. Love is a choice, a choice to sacrifice and a choice to suffer.

[11:03] Every time you love someone strong, it will come at a sacrifice, and it feels abnormal in today's world. And it's okay to be abnormal. It's okay to be set apart. It's okay to not just fall within a mainstream of what's happening in life. The sacrifice will vary. Sometimes it'll vary with time, and we know that time is precious and we can't capture it anymore. And so to sacrifice our time, it can sacrifice emotional energy. Spending time to emotionally and mentally engage with somebody that is needing love is a sacrifice that you need to make. It might sacrifice your agenda. I've had to arrange my whole agenda for tomorrow because I'm trying to love somebody in my neighborhood who experienced a tragic death of a 24-year-old family member.

[11:58] My schedule and agenda on Monday tomorrow doesn't matter if I wanna love strong. I make sure that I'm in the presence and make that sacrifice. Sometimes it's gonna ask you to sacrifice your finances. Ooh, that's a tough one. Everybody struggles in that area to see someone in need and to be able to help someone in need and financially know that you can do that. It's not yours to decide unless it's very evident if someone is of need, and you're called to help them, then you help them financially. We're trying to figure out for Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, we've already reached out to the churches there, let us know how we can help, and we're waiting to know for the sacrifices of finance. And sometimes the biggest one of all that we have trouble with is sacrificing our pride because sometimes the relationship requires us saying, "I'm sorry," first, even if it doesn't matter who's at fault.

[12:59] There will be sacrifice, and it will be accompanied by suffering. As suffering comes in various degrees, sometimes it's just a little discomfort. Now I will tell you this, it was interesting in conversations I've had recently, and I'm not going to get into the whole COVID thing, but when we went through COVID, everything disappeared that brought us together as people: sports, church, work, it all disappeared, and now we all find ourselves in different degrees of discomfort when we try to engage other people. And I'm here to tell you that is nothing but of the enemy, and you've gotta shake it off and not let it hold you back anymore because people's lives are depending on you getting outta your comfort zone.

[13:44] And the comfort zone is all about you. It's not about the life that's gonna go to hell if you don't get outta your comfort zone. So I'm telling you, it is a tool of the enemy, and you gotta figure out how you're gonna suffer by getting outta your comfort zone. Amen. Sometimes it's gonna be a big sufferer. And I know, and I don't even mean this slightly, you're gonna watch a friend, a family member go through self-destruction. Whether it's an illness they're struggling with and the cancer's just eating them and you're watching 'em go away, or it's an addiction of where they're trying to find an answer in their life for, and you're watching them self destruct, you are going to have to be in the midst of that physically, emotionally, and mentally because you need to love strong, and it's gonna require sacrifice. As your heart breaks, so does God's in those situations, and He will give you what you need so that you can love strong.

[14:43] My grandparents Clements on my dad's side, Harold and Jane were their names, and my grandmother Clements, man, you didn't cross her. Like she was just, she loved me to death, and my family would say I'm small because of her. And I will tell you when she received a diagnosis of cancer, it was throughout her whole body, and she asked me to come home and visit her. I was in college at the time and, and you gotta, I gotta tell you a bit of backstory. My grandparents slept in separate rooms. There was a good reason they slept in separate rooms 'cause my grand, they lived by the hump yard of the railway, and my grandfather could out any train coming down that track, up trains like this.

[15:29] Brother, was loud, right? And so they slept in separate rooms. But when I went home to visit my grandma when she was dying and I walked into her room, here was the mattress of my grandfather's bed curled up at the footboard of her bed against the wall where he was sleeping, caring for her because he was loving strong. We sacrificed, we put ourselves aside, we wanted love strong, and he was truly loving, strong in the end times of my grandma's life. And my uncle, who came down every night, also this sweet scripture to her, had the chance to lead her to the Lord before her life ended.

[16:14] That's what loving strong does. That's what sacrifice does. And sometimes it requires suffering. Loving strong shifts your focus away from what I want to what someone else needs, which is the will of God. 1 Peter 4:1b-2, finish with sin. You won't spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God. How cool will that be to be able to say, "I'm done with sin. I'm done with these selfish desires. It's not all about me." If we could get to that point, see, there's a lot of times that we think God and praying to God, it's for Him to deal with our problems and to take care of those, when really our prayers and our time alone with God should be us trying to figure out how to fulfill our purpose for the kingdom that has laid us here for and not whatever problems we're going through, because the will of God is what He wants. Sometimes you just get upset with yourself when you've missed an opportunity to love strong. Does that happen to you?

[17:23] You've seen an opportunity come, and then you just go, "Man, I missed that." We've missed the opportunity to pass along Jesus' love that we get to other people. And then if we keep going on through 1 Peter 4:3-6, you've had enough in the past of evil, things that godless people enjoy: their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties and their terrible worship of idols. Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge and that a flood of wild and destructive things that they do, so they slander you. But remember that they will have to face God, who stands ready to judge everyone, both the living and the dead. That is why the good news was preached to those who are now dead, so that they were also destined to die like all people, they now live forever with God's Spirit.

[18:12] It's pretty interesting to see the list of this recklessness and wild living behaviors, but here's the things that they have in common. They only seek to serve and love ourselves, nothing more. It's all about feeding our own hungers and our own desires. It's very selfish. There's little or no sacrifice when a person simply loves him or their self. It's just feeding their own desires. Sometimes there isn't much apparent suffering done by people in that moment, but I hate to tell you, it's gonna come. It'll come, it'll come because in those ways of living, you'll end up with broken relationships.

[18:58] Sometimes you'll end up with health problems, sometimes it might even lead you to addictions. And then you've got a struggle that you're trying to figure out. Not to mention, we tend to live a life that's filled with sin and self-desires. We are gonna have to give an account for our lives someday. That's what I call a big gulp moment. And I don't mean at 7-Eleven, that's a hard swallow when to realize that we are the ones that need to account for our life, nobody else but for us. Today, the reality is that we need to love strong, and it's impossible to love strong if living for yourself.

[19:44] Loving strong frees from our self-desires, because it's not about us anymore, it's about doing the will of God. It's about loving others. It's hard to live a life of self-desires when you're trying to love strong. It's impossible. You can overcome it, and God can provide the strength to do that. So often when we love strong and we give up and we say, "No more about me, it's gonna be about those that God has placed in my path." We experience sacrificial love, and it's only that love that comes from God, not our own human love. It's the love that flows through us from God to other people. And when we do that, we decide to love strong. It leaves very little room in our lives for anything else in the way we experience things. Let's just take a pause and ask, are your relationships mostly self-serving, or are you looking out for ways to love the other people around you?

[20:49] Don't be surprised when people don't understand sacrificial love. They may even question your motives. They may wonder what your real agenda is, that you have some hidden agenda, and they may heap abuses upon you at first when you try to love strong. But ask yourself this question, would you rather be judged by them, or would you rather be judged by God? I know what my answer is for that. I know this. It is abnormal to love strong. I know that 1 Peter 4:7-10, the end of the world is coming soon. Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers. Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other.

[21:39] For love covers a multitude of sins. Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay. See, loving strong requires action. It's not passive. There's a load of verbs in there. It says, be alert. Look for ways to love people. If you're being alert, you're looking for that, you're not waiting for God to drop it in your lap. You should be praying and asking for opportunity. Offer hospitality. That goes back. Another thing with the separation that we've all experienced, one of the hardest things for us to do now is to get back into a spirit of hospitality where we're helping other people or inviting other people. Use the gifts that God's given you. Lean into what your strong gifts are and serve others.

[22:25] Look for opportunities. Loving strong requires action. Absolutely, love is Scripture that requires little digging to get into. But at the same time, I love verses like this for me that are just a no-brainer. Like it doesn't, there's nothing hidden here. Our hope needs to be sometimes in a life that will change with a great gesture. That's what we think of. We think that we're looking for this, this great apex of a moment that through some grand gesture, some big movement that we do, some big reach out that we do, will change lives. And that can happen, and those moments will happen. Those are God moments.

[23:12] But I also believe that the continuous, just ongoing daily loving strong of people builds and builds and builds and shows authenticity, shows realness in your love, and it shows that you care. When you think about all the different opportunities, it could be out there. It could be a student that you see that you just acknowledge, whether it's here in the church or outwards when you're in school, maybe seeing one of your own kids, and you acknowledge another student whose home life may not be like your home life is, and you give them a kind word. It could be a neighbor. I actually love snow blowing my yard. It kind of makes me feel like when I'm on my lawn it just looks green and still, but when I snow blow it, like I did something. Look, I got little walls.

[24:00] It's all clean. It kind of... And so in New York when I snow blowed, I did it mostly on my day off. I'd actually go up the whole sidewalk and do the three or four houses on the way up there at work, right? I'm out. And it's just a way to love people. Another way might be your wife or spouse are tired and just doing something that they've always done, and they do it out of love for you, but you beat them to it, and you want to outlove them. As a parent with a little kid, it might be just wiping the boogers from their nose for the hundredth time in that day cuz they've got a runny nose. Love is shown in many ways: buying a coffee for the person behind you in the drive-through. Have you ever been in one of those?

[24:47] I pulled up, and I always want to know when I pull up and I say, oh, your coffee's already been paid for. I said, what number are we at? And the last time I asked was like 27. I'm like, alright, I'm paying for one behind you. Right? Like how long can love continue to go? But maybe another one is offering a couple to babysit for them and give them a night out as a couple, cuz you know they've had a really tough time and a busy time as a family. There's all kinds of remarkable ways where you can love strong. The best part of doing these things is they're good practice for times when we're called to love even stronger, in those times that just seem like you're impossible. If you take an attitude of this, that you just want to out love the other person, you'll never go wrong.

[25:40] God is not a God of, hey, it's okay at this level. We're gonna outdo, we're gonna out love, we're gonna out care. We're gonna out minister. We're gonna outserve anybody, any place, anytime. I look at Gisèle and I tell her often, my whole goal in life is to out love you. You know how I outlove her is by allowing God to love me and making sure I'm spending time with Him in Scripture and prayer and chasing after Him. See, God wants to exceed our expectations. We were on a trip to the Caribbean one time on a cruise ship. And we were on, I think it was actually our first time that we went, and were sitting down through dinner one night.

[26:29] We took a hundred couples with us on this marriage cruise, and we're sitting down and our server, I still remember his name to this day, was Richard. And Richard came and he goes, Mr. Clements, he said, is there anything that you would like on this final dinner tonight? I said, you know, the food has been incredible all week long. I said, I would give anything. Is my Atlantic Canadian coming out? I would give anything for a plate of french fries and gravy. So five minutes later, Richard's coming across the dining room with a plate, the silver top on it, that comes over to my table, and he lays down a plate of french fries and gravy. Gisèle looks at him and she goes, Richard, what am I going to do when I get him home? Without missing a beat, he looks at Gisèle and goes, you've had seven days of training.

[27:25] And she said, you just spoiled him. And I'll never forget this line. And Richard said, it is my job to exceed his expectations. Is that not the way that we should live as believers, as followers of Jesus, is to exceed the expectations of someone that we're gonna love strong? It's easy, it's microwavable to do it at the low level just to get by. Just, oh, I love them, check it off. But to exceed their expectations is a whole nother level. When you do all these things, it comes back to you. That's not why we do it, but it gives us that fresh start of realization. We see life change.

[28:15] See, the thing is, we are abnormal people, and it's okay to be abnormal because abnormal people love unconditionally with the full love of Jesus that Jesus loved us with. It's gonna give you the ability, like I said, to out love other people. It's gonna allow you to see and experience the love of Jesus Christ flow through you to other people, because Jesus loves strong. Therefore, you can love strong. I want you to think back to the relationship I asked you about when we first started this message. What's He saying to you right now when it comes to that relationship? What's He asking you to suffer through? What's He asking you to sacrifice?

[29:03] Is He calling you to a greater level, to a greater need to create space for people? Is He calling you to action? Is He calling you to make sure you do something? How about using the power of God's love to breathe fresh love into a stale and hurting relationship? Matthew 22:34-40. I love stories like this. They're trying to trick Jesus. Like it just tells me like, come on. Right? But when the Pharisees heard that He had silenced the Sadducees, silenced them, right, with His reply, they met together to question Him again.

[29:50] One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap Him with this question: Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses? Jesus replied, You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself. The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commands. See, the thing is, if I was able to look at your life, if you were able to let me come in and look at the reasons you're not loving strong, it's because you probably have some chains that are holding you back.

[30:47] Today's the day you need to break those chains. You need to get rid of whatever's holding you back. And you need to love strong like only God can teach you to love strong. See, we're called to do one thing, two commandments, but it's one thing, and it's one word, and it's love. We're not called to convict. We're not called to judge. We're called to love. Holy Spirit convicts, God judges. Judges, we're called to love like Jesus loved. And I would ask you today, would you choose to be abnormal? Will you choose love strong? Let me pray for us. Father, I thank You and thank You for Your Word that just gives us such insight into all of how we should live our lives.

[31:50] And Father, it's never easy. It's never something that allows us to do it without sacrifice and do it without suffering. But Father, we want to be abnormal. Please don't allow us to fall into the humdrum of everyday life and just become normal, forgotten, blank faces in the crowd. Help us to be set apart, not set apart to avoid, but set apart. Because people will know us by how we love them, because we want to love strong. Help us as individuals.

[32:36] Help us as a church that love strong for all those who are seeking, for all those who may not even know the path to Jesus. Help us to be abnormal and help us to love strong. In Your name we pray, amen. I'm gonna invite the ushers if they'll prepare the service communion. One of the great ways to respond when God is stirring in your heart is to think about what is it, God, You want me to do? And I know the tendency at times when communion comes is to look around, maybe talk to a person next to you.

[33:29] But really it's a time of reflection. When you get the elements, ask God to search your soul. To search who it is, to search what you may need to change before you take the elements. But the ushers are gonna come in service.