Respectfully Distant
Jim Clements · Tidal Church Shediac · November 1, 2026 · Joy Anyway series
Jim Clements walks through Philippians 3:3-9, where Paul counts his impressive résumé as loss for knowing Christ. He invites us to stop checking religious boxes and let Jesus into every room of our lives, in real relationship rather than polite distance.
More from Jim Clements · The Joy Anyway series
Topics: Faith, Relationships, Discipleship
Transcript
[0:00] As we continue in Philippians, we took a little break last week and kind of let you digest the first four weeks and then we did, Pastor B did an incredible message on the model church and now we continue in Philippians. And this is kind of a little different. Have you ever had a chance where there was somebody that you wanted to know, you met somebody go like, I'd like to know them a little bit more. I'd like to get them like a little deeper, but every time that you tried to kind of inject yourself into their life or into their relationship, it was kind of like you were held at an arm's length. But they were polite, they weren't rude, they were kind to you all the time, but it just seemed like they would like deflect things to another way rather than going deeper in your relationship. I once lived in an area in the United States like that. I had a ton of acquaintances, but very few friends because they kept a lot of people kind of right here.
[0:54] And so when we go through today, just think about, think about if you walked up to a house, you went up and you rang the doorbell of someone that you hadn't met and they came to the door and said, well, good morning. How are you today? I'm great. Come on in. And they invite you just into the foyer of their house, just to the area where the, you know, just inside the front door. And they go, well, what brings you here today? And you go, well, I just thought I'd come to get to know you a little bit better. Thought we could build everything. Well, that's great. And how's your day been? And you stand in that foyer never moving from it. And over their shoulders, you can see like the living room, the kitchen, the dining room, and all the doorways are shut.
[1:41] The spot where life actually happens, you're not given access to. You're just kept in this polite, kind of nice space to just say, this is where we exist. And they're not hostile about it. They're probably pretty crafty and pretty good at it by now. And they designed their space to kind of protect because they don't want to give everything up. Well, today it's going to be a little bit about that as we talk through Philippians. We're going to pick up in chapter three, verse three. And this is a strange verse. So just so you know, like where it starts at is just a strange the way it starts. And it goes, we're just going to dive in. For we are the circumcised who worship by the Spirit of God and the glory of Jesus Christ and put no confidence in the flesh.
[2:35] Back then, for the Gentiles and the Jews, that's how they told who's who. Like, how are you Jew? How are you Gentile? It was based on circumcision. But real followers is what is telling us here, real followers of Christ Jesus, we don't put confidence in the flesh. It's not the law. It's not the law from that time. We put the confidence in being real followers of following Jesus in spirit. From here to the next several verses that Paul unpacks, it looks at that last phrase where it says, confidence in the flesh is the one that we most likely personally miss ourselves as we go through life. We hear it and we think, oh, that's not me. They got to be talking about somebody else that's like that.
[3:22] That's not me at all. I don't think it is. And what do these terms mean exactly? See, Paul doesn't give us a definition that makes it easy and simple. He gives us words and more words and more words. And the reason it is, I think like if I get to meet Paul, I hope I get to meet Paul. I probably will get to meet Paul in heaven. I don't say, dude, what was up with all the words? Like the guy knows how to just put words down. But we already know the answers because Paul wants to make sure that the church understands what it is he's trying to say. And so he keeps saying it and he keeps saying it. Even if it's so many words, we just go, this is crazy how much he's doing.
[4:10] He wants to make sure that we are real people, that they are real people, followers, believers of God. How do we know who these people are? Well, they worship the Spirit of God. They give glory to Christ Jesus and they put no confidence in the flesh. What does that mean? What's that even look like? You know, because when we look back at chapter one, when we started this series, Paul had said it was better for him to remain in the flesh. So he could be doing ministry amongst them, he said. So there's a good side to flesh, but there's also a warning to the confidence in the flesh.
[4:59] How does that work? Well, first of all, as people, as followers of Christ, we've got to slow down. We go so fast. We've got to slow down. We pick it up. And here's a little bit of the process. We pick it up in verse four, though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh. Also, why is he saying that now? Now it's confusing. Why does he say he doesn't want us to put confidence in the flesh and for anyone not to think that way? And then he's saying this and he continues, if anyone else thinks he has reasons for confidence in the flesh, I have more. OK, now I'm really confused because it sounds like what Paul is doing is boasting.
[5:46] He's getting ready to boast about all that he has. This is what's called rhetorical boast. And Paul goes on and he's not a boastful man. He's not arrogant. He's just trying to make a point. Like, do you think you got confidence in the flesh with all the things that you do and that you act? I don't know about you, but there's times that for me, if I'm not always checking and there's times when I don't check, that I think I can get down the road and go, I'm pretty good. Right. That went pretty good because that's the way we're designed. And we all of a sudden think that we don't need to honor the Christ that we follow. See, he knows what's coming. Paul does. He knows that there's going to be people that will show up in the community, that will show up at this church and they'll begin to tell them, you've got to do this and you've got to do this and you've got to do that.
[6:43] And you've got to do this because it's the law. Of course, nobody does that now in the church, right? Just want to make sure. Of course we do. We hear it constantly too. Well, you've got to do this. You've got to do that. You've got to do this and you should be here. And this, we add one more thing and we keep piling it on. And Paul says, hold on a second. The people of God don't put their confidence in things they do or the rules that they keep. They're glorifying God and they're worshiping by the Spirit of God. But then he continues, if anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, if you really want to have an argument, Paul's saying, I have more.
[7:36] He says, I've got more to boast about than you do. And in a minute I'll share with you and he's going to tell us what some of those things are. But I want you to think about people of God, people who are truly following after Christ. Do you ever hear them talk about what they bring to the table? Or do you hear them talk about God and the Spirit? Maybe we need to ask, how is God going to love us? How's he going to accept us? How are we going to know that we're really people of God? Is it how well we would perform? Is it what we have as talents that we bring to the game? Is it being with the right group of people in the right neighborhood, in the right church?
[8:24] Is it all these things? Because Paul is saying, if you want to go there about confidence in the flesh and talk about the confidence that Paul would have in his list, Paul quickly reminds us and he lays it out before them. And it starts in verse five, circumcised on the eighth day. He says, I was circumcised on the eighth day. You want to talk about the right? I've got the right eight days. Check it out. I got that box checked. And then he goes on to say, oh, people of Israel, I'm on the right team. I was born into the right group. You want to talk about being born in nationality? I was born with God's chosen people.
[9:12] Eighth day, born with God's chosen people. I was also part of the tribe of Benjamin. He keeps calling it out, the first king of Israel, Saul, I was named after him and he was from the tribe of Benjamin. And he goes on, Hebrew, Pharisee, right, circumcised. Now, you want to talk about emotions, Paul's sitting there, and when he reads through the scripture, he says, let's tune in to God with my zeal. It was so right, I was going to be a persecutor at a church. I was going to go out and make sure that people that had anything to say against God, I was taking care of it. Righteousness, righteousness under the law was blameless. What do you bring to the table? He might be saying as he's listened this. But obviously someone who's a child of God, you don't want to bring a list like this.
[9:59] And Paul says, basically he's saying to people by listening this, my list is pretty strong. Like, you want to get game to game? My list is pretty strong. But then the scripture says, but. Now, this is an important but. And there's lots of buts in the Bible. But this is an important but. What does it mean? I'm going to tell you because he goes, no, whatever I have gained, whatever I bring to the table, whatever bit of morality, I'm not like these people. Whatever gain I have, I count it as loss for the sake of Christ. See, for Paul, he's looking at it like a credits and debits, like accounting.
[10:44] Not everybody knows accounting, but he's saying, you know, here's my credits, here's all the things that are good. It looks good for a bottom line. Everybody's looking at their bottom line, trying to, this is what I want to get to. Paul's listing all these things and saying, oh, if I want to be a follower of God, then look at all this stuff. And we keep checking off boxes. But then he takes all the things that say earthly that he's a follower of Christ and he moves it to the lost column. He moves it to the lost column. Have any of us ever made lists like that? We think about our relationship with Christ because the bottom line is all we should want is Christ. That's the bottom line. For his sake, all those things that we can make a list of, like Paul did, doesn't lead us to the bottom line.
[11:39] And the bottom line as a Christ follower, a completely sold out Christ follower, is to say, I have Christ and Christ has me. Everything else just wasn't important to hold on to. And Paul's saying, I need you to understand this because it is so easy, even today, back then and today, for us to fall into the confidence of ourselves, the confidence of the flesh, and to say, look what I did, look what I'm doing, look how I make a difference. Philippians 3, 8 says, Indeed, I count everything as loss because surpassing is worth knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord.
[12:28] Put everything on the table. Here it all is. But it's knowing Christ and him knowing me that really counts. He counts it all as loss. And it goes on for his sake, I suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish. For those of you that are King James, King James actually uses the word dung, not just rubbish, dung. Could have brought it all to the table, but it's trash because I want to know Christ. See, this is not about a religious activity or a religious thing. This is a relational thing. It's being in relationship with Christ. It's really knowing who Jesus is.
[13:14] Paul's saying, I want to be found in him and I want me to just be living my life out for him every day. And none of this stuff that I've listed or that you would put on a list is bad. But if we're having confidence of who we are and following Christ is defined by that list, then we're missing the boat a little because that's the list we're going to get left with at the end of the day. And we're going to miss the true relationship that we could have with Christ. And it continues in nine. It says to be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law.
[14:02] It's hard. I know. We live in a world that separates us, but we're really meant to be together. We're living in a world that's busy, but we're really meant to be together. We live in a world that would give an award for almost anything. But the reward that we have is what comes in heaven. That's what our focus has to be on. It's none of this stuff. Because as we experience for families in Shadyac and for my family, it's gone, right? Quickly gone. But the one thing we want to hold to is Christ. It continues on, and it says down through these verses, and to be found in him again, as I said, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law.
[14:54] But that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith, that I may know him and the power of his resurrection and may share in his sufferings. That's the part we don't like. See, we say I want to know him. It's not good enough just to know about him. I want to have a relationship with him, is what our statement should be. I want to know him in all of his glory. I want to know his resurrection power and all the things he could do. I want to know all the healing that he can do. I want to know all the power that works through him that all of us can experience. But I also want to know him in an intimate way that when I am by myself or I am with people, I can sense the spirit of God in a closeness to me that guides me each and every day in the decisions I make and the interactions that I have.
[15:51] But it also means I have to share his suffering, that he gave his life for each one of us so we can experience that intimacy, that value that he has. It's not about performance. It's not about confidence in the flesh. It continues to say becoming like him in his death, that by means possible, I may obtain resurrection from death. At the end of the day, when it all goes away, we get to stand before our king. He's not going to care about any list you got from down here.
[16:36] You're not going to pull out your iPhone or Android device and go, I've been saving it on notes. Let me go through all that I did. It's all lost. There's two things I wanted to take a moment to look at. One is, where's your confidence really found now? If we were to really do a self-evaluation, if we were to be honest and push aside everything that's going on, the difficulties, maybe you come in and you've had the experience, and I know some of you don't even know people that have been in this situation with the fire and you're struggling for them or you're one of them and you're struggling. There's a lot going on at work. There's a lot going on in your life. There's a lot going on in your family. There's a lot going on everywhere.
[17:21] There's a lot going on at school. But take a moment to just ask yourself now, right now, where does my confidence sit in? Where is it really placed? What are the things I'm thinking about? When I wake up tomorrow morning, do I go, man, I hope I get closer to Christ and more intimate with Him today. What I've pulled out the list that I've got to make sure I'm hitting those boxes. People of God really don't put their confidence in flesh. It's not how we roll. You just don't do it that way. Paul could have. He had a great list for his day. But Paul says he has nothing to do with it.
[18:09] It's all lost. And Paul was lost until God got ahold of him and showed him, this is who I am. I can't imagine in that moment for Paul when it clicked to go, whoa, like this is the true and living. It's crazy to think about, you know, he listed all these things. It's not who you know. It's not what tribe. It's not what people. In Paul's case, even as a persecutor, it's not who you killed for Jesus, right? It's not something we do. But where do we put our confidence? A lot of times, as Christians, we come in and we got a checkbox. We're trying to check things off.
[18:55] Well, I grew up in this church, check. I know how to do this tradition, check. We do this. It doesn't matter where you come from. It doesn't matter what culture, what city, what country, just a different checklist, right? Different traditions, different things the world puts in front of us. And I know there's some that check a box that every time the church opens, they're there. Check, I'm there all the time, check. Anytime they want help, check. Some even have like certain issues that are theirs to chase after and they make sure that the church knows or the church leadership knows and they go, okay, check that box. I told them. They check that box off because they think it's what they're supposed to be doing.
[19:44] But all of us, if we're really, really, really sincere with ourselves and our relationship with Christ, those are the things that we show and tell people. Did you know that I go to title church? Check. I told people I went to church, right? I don't tell them that I only go once every three months. I helped with the children's ministry event, check. Well, I kind of dropped kids off and didn't stay or help. They don't tell them that part. Well, you know, I'm really investing into other people, check. But I got this sin in my life that I'm really not sharing with anybody that I'm struggling with.
[20:31] See, we tend to tell everybody the nice side of life. How you doing? Awesome, right? I don't know about you, but there's plenty of times when people ask me how I'm doing and I'm not doing awesome. You want to throw somebody off? Tell them. How you do it? This has happened to me. Hey, Pastor Jim, how you doing today? Oh, not so good. Well, you have a great day. They didn't even listen to me because we become so programmed about just checking the box. If we slow down, we might pick up on some of the things, right? We tend to stay focused, and there's people hurting all around us, including ourselves at times.
[21:19] But we want to be pursuing this relationship with Christ. It's not bad to be in church every day. It's probably not healthy, but it's not bad to be in church every Sunday because you know what? The church of Christ exists inside of each one of us. And when we come together, even if you're struggling, you don't want to share, that spirit of Christ in us connects to the spirit of Christ in the next person and in the next person. And we begin to feel this strength. We begin to feel this love, this care, this being looked after, and it just grows and grows. And then I know you've had this happen because this happened to me a lot. Then there's people who come who don't know Christ.
[22:05] And if you're in here today, I guarantee you, you felt this. And if you say you didn't, it's because you're not telling me the truth. So I'm going to call out right now because I've had so many experiences. People come in and they go, I don't know what I just experienced. I felt like I was home. I felt really good. Well, that's the spirit of Christ in everybody. That's why we come together. That's why we grow. That's why we share. That's why we're honest. But coming to church is not enough. Keith Green says, going to McDonald's doesn't make you any more of a hamburger than a Christian just showing up at church. We've got to pursue Christ. It's not what we do that has the confidence and the flesh.
[22:53] Is it all pushed aside for Christ? It's not the traditions. It's not the check boxes. It's good to pray. It's good to sing, worship. It's good to help each other. It's good to be in church. It's good to serve. Those are all great things. But if you're not pursuing an intimacy with Christ, and you're kind of missing it, someone asks me, they said, why should I put my confidence and my faith in Christianity? You know what I say? You shouldn't. You should put your confidence and faith in Christ because we're all human and we're all flawed and we're going to disappoint you at some point in time or another. So it shouldn't be in there.
[23:39] It should be in Christ. What does it really mean to know Him? He's a resurrected King. He's defeated death, and you can defeat death also. It's not an outward appearance. It's not a list. What does it mean to really know Him? Paul says, I may know Him in the power of His resurrection. I may share in His sufferings, and I want to become like Him in defeating death. That's what we're called to. But sometimes, just sometimes, I'll say, we don't want Jesus in our lives just the way we should.
[24:24] We like want to keep Him at a respectable, dignified distance. Just hold Him right about here, right? Makes it easy. We'll do all the things I said. We'll pray. We'll drop our kids off. We'll stand for worship. We'll raise our hands. We'll stand up when they tell us to stand up. We'll sit down when they tell us to sit down. We'll do all the things that are supposed to say. We'll keep checking the boxes. What's God want you to do? Because He's dying for a relationship with you and not transactions. You can decide to make it transactional or you can decide to make it relational. But that's on you, and He is calling for a longing of intimacy with you.
[25:10] You can learn our denominational stances. You can read the creeds that we read. You can follow the bylaws that we have, and you can follow all that stuff. But if you are not growing in your intimacy with Christ on a daily basis, you're missing it. One of two things happen for people. You stay in a church. You go through the programs. You spend decades in that church. You check all the boxes. You agree with all the things. You keep attending. You keep involved. And now you're just playing church. And pretty soon, you become numb to it. And it's just wash, rinse, repeat.
[25:56] Wash, rinse, repeat. And I hope you find that intimacy with Christ. That's between you and Him. There's not a program we can run to go. This is how to be more intimate with Christ. Think about your best friend. How did you become best friends? Did you take a course? Did you kind of not talk to them, just text them all the time, email? No, you invested. There's things that people know about you that you would not tell other people. You have an intimacy of relationship. It's not a male or a female thing. It's a closeness in relationship.
[26:42] The other thing that happened to people is they'll go through these check boxes and they'll get them and then they'll go, a couple of years go by and they go, hey, now, there's got to be more than this. And so they go from one church to the next church. Oh, this church is a little different. It's a little new. Oh, look, they got a few different boxes. I'll check those boxes. A couple of years go by and they go, oh, I'm not getting what I need out of here. I'll go over and try this church. They go over here and they go, oh, there's different boxes here too. Look at that. They got same boxes, but they got a couple of other different ones. And they check those boxes and they're content for a while. Eventually what's going to happen is they're going to go, what's all this about?
[27:30] And no one has told me about the intimacy with Christ. I've just been checking boxes and now there's nothing more. And they just leave the faith. Discouraged, wondering, what was it all about? It's not transactional. It's relational. And it's being together. Jesus says this to his disciples in John 16, 1. I've said all these things to you to keep you from falling away. They will put you out of the synagogues. Indeed, the hour is coming when whoever kills you will think he's offering service to God and they will do these things because they have not known the Father or me.
[28:24] God says, I want your heart. I don't want a checklist. I want you in the intimacy that is so deep. You come to me for all things. I don't want you to put your confidence in flesh. We go to the final book of the Bible in Revelations 3.17. It says, for you say I am rich. I have prospered and I need nothing. Not realizing that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked. See, for us, we live in a world where you don't have to pick.
[29:09] You just look at our food. I mean, I love food. I am a full-on consumer of food. But let's be real. Like, I like North American food. I'm raised in Newfoundland. I like me fish. But I like Caribbean food, too. So you know what? I can have Caribbean fusion. I like sushi. But I like also other things that go with it that are not sushi. Do you know what? I can have sushi fusion. I feel like having like a little bit of like France and like Mexican food. And I can have Mexican fusion. I don't have to choose. I'll just jam it together and call it whatever I like.
[29:56] Well, I'm going to tell you this morning that all that you've listened to is you cannot have Jesus fusion. There is only one way to the Father, and that is through Jesus Christ that is detailed in His scripture. And you don't get to pick what makes it simple, easier for you to have an appetite for Jesus. There is only one Jesus. He has one name above all names. And He has only one place. And He sits at the right hand of the Father intervening on your behalf for intimacy that they are looking for to have with you day in and day out of all things. And you don't get to pick what you want with it to make it easier for you.
[30:42] There is no Jesus fusion. There's just Jesus. And that's the bottom line of what He's trying to tell us in here. We get to Revelation three verses after 17 and verse 20. It says, Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into Him, come in to Him and eat with Him and me. See, sometimes we can read that and we think it's about us. And in a way it is. It's about the church. Like, hey, you're in your buildings. You're worshipping. You're singing songs. You're praying.
[31:27] You're studying my scripture. But here I am. I want more than that. I want an intimate relationship with each one of you. No check marks, just intimacy. You want to know how you know if you're on the right path a little bit. When you feel a little uncomfortable because God's pursuing you. Because He's chasing after you and He is everywhere where you are. Whether you want Him to be or not. There is far more for your life than you can even imagine. He loves you to depths that we can't even think of.
[32:14] Go back to that house at the beginning. Standing in the foyer. That's you that has invited Jesus to come into that foyer. My question to you today, are you willing to let Him go to the living room? Are you willing to let Him go to the kitchen, the dining room, your bedroom? Are you willing to let Christ into all parts of your life? It's a whole other level of living. You can keep checking the boxes. It will never bring you to fulfillment that you're looking for. Seek Him today. Let's bow our heads and close our eyes.
[33:05] If you're here today and out of respect for everyone and only I'll give permission for Pastor Nathan as he pastors you, but all other eyes closed, heads bowed. And this is not a sign of less than. This is just an acknowledgment that, hey, I want to know Jesus in a deeper way with intimacy. I just encourage you to just raise your hand as a symbol to Him. Yeah, His hands up all over the room. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Okay, you can put your hands down. If you come in here this morning and you don't know who Jesus is or you thought you didn't and you're like, oh my goodness, I've been checking boxes. I don't know Him as my personal Lord and Savior. And today you want to start, you want to leave here beginning that relationship with Him.
[33:55] Then I want you to just pray this prayer with me. You don't, you say it inside your spirit. You don't say it out loud and you just repeat after me, Father God, I want a personal relationship with you. I want an intimacy with Christ that I don't even understand. But I ask you to forgive me of what I've done wrong so far, to forgive me of my sins, to give me the strength and the courage to take the next step the next day. Father, help me not to have confidence in flesh but to have confidence in Christ. Today I make you my Lord and Savior. Please guide me in these next steps.
[34:43] If you prayed that prayer with me, that today I'm just going to encourage you again with everybody in a posture of respect. Just raise your hand as making that profession that yes, you've made that hand here, hand here, here. Sum in the back. Let's pray. Father, we come before you. You are all we need. And the tragedies that happen on an earthly basis and a human basis, we know that those are awful. But the one thing we can stay anchored on is a strong relationship that's deeply, deeply anchored with Christ.
[35:31] So may you guide each of our steps. May you guide our ways. When we may move or think we're all that in a bag of chips, may you remind us we are nothing without you. May you guide each of our days. It's in the mighty name of Jesus we pray and ask this. And everybody said, amen. Let's stand as we continue to worship through music.